Well, this is a difficult post to write. I have officially submitted my resignation with my current school district. I have been unhappy in my career for the last two years. At times, I thought it was because my daughter had arrived and I was just too preoccupied with her and therefore struggled to really enjoy any time away from her. Other times, I thought it was because of state and federal mandates that made it feel impossible to do my job effectively. A few times, I even thought it was because my students were becoming less and less engaged over the years making my daily routine more of a dreaded struggle than an exciting new challenge. I can go on forever about all of the reasons I *thought* I was loosing my passion for teaching. And to be fair, all of those things are true to a certain extent.
However, I always saw myself teaching K/1/2 and never pictures myself as a Middle School like I had been for the last six years. Yet, I am SO glad I accepted this position because working there turned out to be SUCH an amazing experience. Middle School was more enjoyable than I ever could have imagined. My students changed me, my colleagues turned from coworkers into lifelong friends, and my admin provided opportunities for me to grow as a teacher. I am better for having worked there.
Nevertheless, something felt like it was missing and at the start of the new year, I finally figured out what it was. Despite loving sixth grade, I am missing my original passion for teaching early elementary kids. It was a great relief to find out that I still have the same passion for teaching I have always had; it was extremely difficult to process the possibility that I no longer loved teaching. As it turns out, I have just been seeking a new path. And so, I have accepted a primary teaching position for the 2020-2021 school year. Not only will I be able to rediscover my original passion and plan for my career, but I will also be only fifteen minutes away from my baby girl. How lucky am I to have the opportunity to work so close to home?
They say there’s no such thing has “good timing” in regards to making a life-changing decision such as this. However, there certainly is such a thing as “bad timing” and with the pandemic, now is bad timing. I don’t even know what September is going to look like. This woul dhave been a hugh and overwhelming challenge even if I stayed in my position. Adding the layer of being a “new teacher” again, and… yikes. Yet, I am taking a leap of faith, following what makes me happy, and doing what I think is best for my family. I am so excited and although things in education are super wonky right now, when the dust settles I will be exactly where I want.